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    April 01

    被风吹过的夜晚

    愚人节被彻底的愚弄了一下,开始觉得很窝火,后来觉得挺正常的,这社会本来就是这样的.....
    被风吹过的夜晚,现在觉得头有点痛....估计就是吹的...真有一种客死异乡也没人知道的凄凉感,最近常把死字挂在嘴边,其实不是今天才想的,以前也想,只不过不敢说出口罢了....
    突然发现我无比的依赖黑暗,看着没有灯光的高速公路,我莫名其妙的觉得安全,希望永远不要到站,一直一直这样走下去,去没有人认识我,我也不认识任何人的地方......以后有机会的话,我一定要一个人出去流浪一阵子,再回来,我或许又能看透很多,快乐好多....跟空空坐在一起,不知不觉又谈到了爱情,空空说我把我最好的留给对我好的人,这样也是一种幸福,其实想想也是......
    只是突然觉得很不舒服,我是没跟人牵过手,没跟人接过吻,没跟人上过床,可是这些真的很重要吗?我只是不想把这些给我不爱的人而已...在我眼里这些不过是爱情的附属品....或许我真的可以给我将来的爱人这些,可是我恐怕我不能再给他一份这么纯真的爱情了,我觉得这才是我丢失的最宝贵的东西...想想我真的可笑,怎么会想这么弱智的问题,这跟问精神重要还是物质重要一样可笑.....可能我真的只适合生活在精神世界里,因为我做心理测试的时候,说我是百分之百相信爱情的人,虽然好想辩解一下,但是想想这可能是我最不想也不敢承认的事实吧....
    关于辩解,我越来越懒得说了,理智也好,事业也好,清醒也好,幼稚也好,自己知道就好了吧,可能我这人真的自以为是,不过现在觉得全世界人都这样,无所谓了.....

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